Arguments take place when two people have different opinions but remember ,
You can't win an argument. You just cant, because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why?
Well, suppose if you triumph over the other person and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about the other person, you made him look inferior. You hurt his pride. He will resent his pride. And you know right?
A man convinced against his will , is of the same opinion still .
You maybe right, dead right, as you sped along in your argument; but as far as changing another's mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong.
Here are some suggestions that'll help you;
1. Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always
agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought
about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is
your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
2. Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable
situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first
reaction. It may be you at your WORST, not your BEST.
3. One of the most important, Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist,
defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding.
Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
4. Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first
on the points and areas on which you agree.
5. ALSO its important to Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. This won't make you any smaller instead it will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
6. Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it.
your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about
their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your
opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
If possible postpone the talks. Take your time to think about the following ;
Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position
or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve
any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them
closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will
I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the
disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?
So, remember the only way to get the best out of any argument is to avoid it.